This post has almost nothing to do with my first trip to the strip club. This is about how men accept and selectively use double standards and why sometimes we are justified in doing so.
I’ll start with my own experience from that night.
It was the first semester of my freshmen year at UNC Charlotte and I was in Winston-Salem, visiting WSSU for the weekend. We went to a little hole in the wall strip club and it was nothing spectacular by any means. However, I was amazed by the entire world that was the club that night. How could we be so accepting and inviting of these women in the club by night, but shaming them for it during the day? This is when I began to realize that we live in a world were we have created our own selective double standards and choose when and when not to abide by them, and in most cases we disregard them only when they are beneficial to us.
Is this due to the natural bit of selfishness that is human nature? Or is it because of the unwritten “rules” of the society that we live in?
Double standards have been around forever. Entire empires and religions have been built upon the base of a double standard. We use them in our relationships and just about every other facet of our lives. Why? What is it that makes it acceptable to place double standards on just about everything?
We live in a world that is dominated by men, and has been since the beginnings of humanity. We feel as if we are superior to our female counterparts, and behave as so. I believe that this is the reason that we create a set of standards that we believe women should uphold, while we may not uphold the same set. We want our women to be honest, when we lie. We want our women to be faithful, when we cheat. We want our women to not be subjective to multiple men, while we entertain the likes of multiple women. These are all double standards that have become a way of life and recently problematic amongst the likes of women taking a stand against them.
Are they justified?
I could argue in support of the justification of our double standards. As men we are naturally protective of our families and of our women. We may create these double standards because we want what we believe is best for our women. We don’t want them to behave in a manner that may be detrimental to their image. Believe it or not, we actually want to protect the positive opinion of women.
What about when we don’t?
This brings me back to the strip club. We selectively lifted the double standard of appeasing multiple people, because it was benefiting us. We saw nothing wrong with the strippers doing their job at night and spoke nothing of it. (I have absolutely nothing against strippers, some of the coolest people I’ve encountered) But we spoke down upon them when we weren’t in the club. We were only lifting the double standard when they were of benefit to us. Why can’t we be acceptive of them at all times? The strippers are just an example I used because of my own experience, but we do this to a LOT of things/people.
Maybe its embodied in our nature or maybe one day we’ll understand our own ignorance.
By Keith Haynie, Editor in Chief