Dear “Let’s be friends until I find a ‘Friend’, friend’s”,
This letter is dedicated to all of the people, men and women, who have pretended to take a genuine interest in being my friend, only to treat me like I don’t exist when they find someone to settle down with.
You all are the literal definition of, “thought you had a friend!”
Listen, it’s okay if you no longer want to be friendly with me once you’re in a relationship.
Perhaps you may feel tempted in my presence.
Maybe you feel like you’re cheating on your partner by enjoying my company, even if the nature of our friendship was strictly platonic.
Cool, I get it.
What’s not okay, is the disappearing act from my life without a moments notice, just to pop back up once your relationship is ‘over’. The break-up is never permanent. You come back, but you’ll be gone again.
Nah, you can’t come back this time on some friendly shit like we are friends.
No, we are not friends. We are merely two people who were friendly at one point in time.
There is a difference.
Your disappearing act lets me know that I am not your friend, simply someone you wouldn’t mind smashing if given the chance. If you really valued me as a friend, you would be upfront with me about your intentions and your disappearance.
By the way, it wouldn’t even be considered disappearing if we have a conversation about why you’re disappearing, BEFORE you disappear. You don’t get to come back around months later as if nothing happened, and decide to tell me how you felt. You can try to, but you’re not entitled to my presence. You could have been, had you been an honest friend to me. Entitlement is reserved for friends and friends only.
But I understand that it is rather difficult to be honest with someone else when you can’t even be honest with yourself.
You may think you’re doing right by your relationship, by distancing yourself from temptation, but you’re only half-right. You must also acknowledge that there is temptation outside of your relationship, first to yourself, and then to your partner. They deserve to know. When you fail to do this, you succeed at creating yet another relationship based on dishonesty, and resentment will soon follow.
Lex (and a million others)
By Alexis Williams, Contributor
Keith Haynie, Editor in Chief